The Musings of an Idle Mind

Things that go 'Bump' in my head

WEEK 10
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gary_jordan

I weigh about 255 pounds. My BMI is around 39.6 I lost .6 pounds this week. 94 pounds to go.

My average fasting glucose level was 102 mg/dL.

The average carbohydrates for the past week were 48.8 grams. Average calories were 2494 versus an average BMR of 2471 calories. According to Basal Metabolism Theory, I should have lost -0.1 pounds since last Friday.

In the market today, Gary Jordan (GSJ) was trading slightly lower than last week, down £0.60, for a total decline of £36.40 from the high of £291.60. When asked to explain the losses to date, a spokesman for GSJ said, "The Creator has not thought proper to mark those in the forehead who are of stuff to make good generals. We are first, therefore, to seek them blindfold, and then let them learn the trade at the expense of great losses."

In reviewing the previous nine weeks, one thing stands out—I need to quit finding excuses for all the departures, indiscretions, lapses, and relapses from the "healthy eating lifestyle" and just live it. This week's weekly dinner out was a return to LoneStar, where I had my habitual Cajun Ribeye, and again managed to not order a Texas Rose/Bloomin' Onion. My sides were green beans and steamed broccoli. And I didn't pork out on snacks that night. It can be done, though better would have been to cut it in half, eat the green beans and bring the rest home for another meal.

I've been a whiner for ten weeks. It's time to stop. Instead of complaining about being stuck in the two-fifties, I need to recapture that time last year when I bitched about the two-forties. And when I do, I need to shut up and get through it. Enough about that.

One of my complaints to my doctor was that since she cut my dosage of Metformin1 in half, I'd stopped losing weight. Well, she gave me permission to double back up. It did not affect the weight loss, or all my diet disasters hid the effects. Ergo, back to my previously scheduled dosage.

So, how did I know to ask about Metformin? Obviously, I am a curious individual concerned with every and any thing that goes in my mouth, right? Yeah, I didn't buy that, either. The cause of my curiosity dates to the publication of a webcomic2, in fact, a particular story arc3. For any non-webcomic-fan, one of a group of close friends and family-of-choice is a registered nurse, and recognizes a bottle of Metformin by the shape and markings on the pills. (She is also a diabetic.) She can't believe the prescribed dosage is double the maximum permitted. There follow actions, medical mostly, that reveal that the doctor is trying to kill the patient by Metformin OD which causes Pernicious Anemia which can be mis-diagnosed as leukemia... which is what the patient is being treated for. Oh, when I doubled my dosage, I started taking B-12 capsules, also as a result of said story arc.


Footnotes

  1. Is Metformin Effective for Weight Loss? - Medscape
  2. Too Much Information by AndyO!
  3. SetBackStory - "Bad Medicine"
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WEEK 9
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gary_jordan

I weigh about 256 pounds. My BMI is around 40.2 I gained 3.6 pounds this week, making my target weight still once again 95 pounds away.

My average fasting glucose level was 113 mg/dL.

The average carbohydrates for the past week were 98.0 grams. Average calories were 2950 versus an average BMR of 2492 calories. According to Basal Metabolism Theory, I should have gained just 0.9 pounds since last Friday. I suppose we have established that the theory is unproven, but it still seams a decent guide.

This was not the first week to contain deviations from the lifestyle I so want to be mine. It may have been the most prolonged for some time. It included eating an entire rotisserie chicken1 with a side of a family serving of macaroni and cheese2, but the desserts (this was spread over two meals) were cakes3,4. To be honest, it started with a small bag of hot potato wedges consumed on the way to work.

“But wait!” says the TV Huckster, “There’s more!” I didn’t mention starting the day with Jimmy Dean breakfast bowls5 instead of the usual Atkins Scramble, but I did that, too. In fact, the digression started the day before the chicken dinner, and included eating a whole bag of pepperonis6 and a side of bacon7 (the entire package), and progressed to my favorite sandwich at Subway8. I finished off my essay of the sin of gluttony by taking Jennifer9 to the Food Court at Southpark Mall10 for Bourbon Chicken on rics noodles with a side of black pepper beef.<

Let’s just write this week off as a “gone-to-hell-week,” shall we?

In the market today, Gary Jordan (GSJ) was trading slightly higher than last week, up £3.60, for a total decline of £35.80 from the high of £291.60. When asked to explain the losses to date, a spokesman for GSJ said, "In the game of life, it’s a good idea to have a few early losses, which relieves you of the pressure of trying to maintain an undefeated season."


Footnotes

  1. Food Lion 2.5 Lb. Rotisserie Chicken served hot from their deli.
  2. Bob Evans Oven Bake Macaroni and Cheese
  3. Carrot cake from the Food Lion deli/bakery. I couldn't find the product on their site, just recipes for making your own. You know what carrot cake looks like? It looked like that.
  4. Chocolate fudge cake from the Food Lion deli/bakery. Same as the carrot cake. No pictures, but it was delicious and un-regrettable.
  5. Turkey Sausage Breakfast Bowl from Jimmy Dean
  6. Hormel Pepperoni - specifically, the Pizza Solution Original Pillow Pack. More than five servings.
  7. Oscar Meyer Bacon - just 71 grams. How bad could it be?
  8. Subway - If I'm eating at Subway, it's always the foot-long double-meat B.M.T. on Italian bread with Provolone cheese, lettuce, tomato, onion, a shake or two of black pepper and a sprinkle of oil. Sometimes I ask them to hide one (1) jalapeno pepper in it somewhere.
  9. Jennifer, as previously mentioned, is my darling daughter and weekly dinner companion (because nobody likes to dine out alone, right?)
  10. Southpark Mall at Colonial Heights, Virginia
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WEEK 8
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gary_jordan

I weigh about 252 pounds. My BMI is around 39.6 I gained .8 pounds this week. 91 pounds to go.

My average fasting glucose level was 105 mg/dL.

The average carbohydrates for the past week were 43.3 grams. Average calories were 2431 versus an average BMR of 2465 calories. According to Basal Metabolism Theory, I should have lost 0.1 pounds since last Friday.

After eight weeks of doubled doses of Metformin, the glucophage my doctor continued to prescribe at the 1000 mg/day level, I believe I can concede that the reduction from 2000 mg/day was not the reason for my cessation of weight loss. More than likely, it is simply my sedentary1 lifestyle.

The problem is complex and manifold. My exercise of choice is bicycle riding. Until recently, the weather was not clement for that activity. More recently, I'm a fat, lazy old man who needs a kick in the keister2. I should be out there pedaling right now instead of typing this. My only excuse is a case of bronchitis picked up from a coworker. But that only excuses the last four days.

Be that as it may, it's time once again for the Fat Market Report:

In the market today, Gary Jordan (GSJ) was trading slightly higher than last week, up £0.80, for a total decline of £39.40 from the high of £291.60. When asked to explain the losses to date, a spokesman for GSJ said, "Everything’s not going to go perfect. You’re going to have some losses that you’re going to have to bounce back from and some things that are a little unforeseen that you’re going to have to deal with."


Footnotes

  1. sed·en·tar·y - adjective (of a person) tending to spend much time seated; somewhat inactive.
    synonyms: sitting, seated, desk-bound, stationary, fat lazy couch potato;
    antonyms: active
    (of work or a way of life) characterized by much sitting and little physical exercise.
  2. keis·ter - noun NORTH AMERICAN informal
    noun: keester
    1. a person's buttocks.
    2. (dated) a suitcase, bag, or box for carrying possessions or merchandise.
    example: "That Jordan guy is one satchel-assed geezer who needs a foot up his keister."
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Week 7
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gary_jordan

I weigh about 251 pounds. My BMI is around 39.2 I lost 5.8 pounds this week. 90 pounds to go.

My average fasting glucose level was 119 mg/dL.

The average carbohydrates for the past week were 52.4 grams. Average calories were 2633 versus an average BMR of 2455 calories. According to Basal Metabolism Theory, I should have gained 0.4 pounds since last Friday.

What it isn't is Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous1. I am neither rich nor famous. However, I do enjoy dining with my daughter once every week. This week's sins were committed mainly at Five Guys Burgers and Fries2, where I had one cheeseburger3 and one order of Cajun fries4.

The only other incident of note to the lifestyle is that, due to the disruption of my routine caused by annual In Service Training, I neither weighed myself daily nor tested my blood sugar until this morning, for the official weekly weigh-in. Moreover, the scale5 was moved around and ever-so-slightly relocated, which resulted in wild variations in weight when I was repositioning it. Any weight I report should probably be followed with "±5 pounds." On the other hand, the reviews on Amazon6 explain why my scales are (apparently) off.

In the market today, Gary Jordan (GSJ) was trading slightly lower than last week, down £5.80, for a total decline of £40.20 from the high of £291.60. When asked to explain the losses to date, a spokesman for GSJ said, "After you have wept and grieved for your physical losses, cherish the functions and the life you have left."


Footnotes

  1. The show was largely intended to be an insight into the opulent residences and the glamorous lifestyles of those it profiled. However, many of the geographic areas it covered were ideal destinations for vacations, and in his on-camera appearances, Leach indirectly made references to resorts and tourist attractions. - Wikipedia. The tie-in is that, like Robin Leach and narrator David Greenspan, I have a tendancy to mention restaurants and other locations where I have taken on extra carbs and calories in delicious variety.
  2. The Five Guys at Westchester Commons, 15523 WC Commons Way, Midlothian, VA 23113, Phone: 804-378-5466. Hours: 11am-10pm Every Day. There's another store closer to home, in Colonial Heights, VA, but the daughter and I were out in Powhatan buying a headboard for her bed (Craigslist in action).
  3. Also from Wiki, "The Five Guys menu is centered on hamburgers offered with American cheese or bacon, kosher style hot dogs, grilled cheese and vegetable sandwiches. Five Guys uses buns that are sweeter and "eggier" than normal buns." and "Men's Health magazine stated on their web site that Five Guys' meals are generally considered unhealthy. They state that a standard double patty burger, for example, contains 700 calories and 20 grams of saturated fat." And so very, very delicious.
  4. More Wiki: "French fries are the sole side item, available salted only in 'Five Guys style' or seasoned 'Cajun style'." And under Criticism: Men's Health also rated Five Guys' french fries as some of the most unhealthy food in America, saying that a standard large order of fries contains almost 1,500 calories. The Center for Science in the Public Interest placed Five Guys' bacon cheeseburger, which it claims contains 920 calories, among its 2010 list of most unhealthy meals available at U.S. chain restaurants. In 2015, the Five Guys site states that a bacon cheeseburger contains 930 calories and a large order of fries contains 1314 calories." The reason a Five Guys order of fries has so many more carbs and calories than, for example, McDonalds or Wendy's or Burger King is that there are so many more fries in a Five Guys order, owing to a phenominum called "bag fries." Bag fries are the fries that fall out of the serving container into the bag. Typically, a Five Guys order of fries has two thirds of the fries as bag fries, and the serving container is still full "to overflowing." One order of FG Fries is like three supersized Micky D's orders, at least.
  5. Taylor 7517 Glass Electronic Scale
  6. Some Amazon.com reviews about Taylor Glass Digital Electronic Scales...
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THE MAN WITH THE FLASHLIGHT OBSESSION
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gary_jordan
Prince George, VA. April 4, 2015. A local geezer acted on his flashlight obsession once again, buying another dozen 9-LED flashlights at his favorite Walmart, bringing the total to higher than his age (which is up there!)

"Tis better to shine one little flashlight than to curse the darkness," he said.
flashlights

WEEK 6
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gary_jordan

I weigh about 257 pounds. My BMI is around 39.5 I gained 10.2 pounds this week. 96 pounds to go.

My average fasting glucose level was 108 mg/dL.

The average carbohydrates for the past week were 101.9 grams. Average calories were 3316 versus an average BMR of 2456 calories. According to Basal Metabolism Theory, I should have gained 1.7 pounds since last Friday.

Lifestyle, not diet, is the key to this situation. The problem is that large, pan-style super supreme pizzas1 are part of an obese, diabetic lifestyle. That's not inherent—one might have the discipline, for example, to eat one serving rather than all eight slices—at least, if I am not that one. At least I shared the chocolate chip cookie2 pie.

There were other transgressions, but all were survivable save this one.

In the market today, Gary Jordan (GSJ) was trading slightly higher than last week, up £10.20, for a total decline of £34.40 from the high of £291.60. When asked to explain the losses to date, a spokesman for GSJ said, "Life is about ups and downs, great joys and great losses."


Footnotes

  1. Pizza Hut, 3200 S Crater Rd, Petersburg, VA 23805, (804) 451-4141
  2. Pizza Hut - Ultimate Hershey's Chocolate Chip Cookie is a giant, fresh-baked 8-inch chocolate chip cookie made with Hershey's semi-sweet chocolate chips.
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Dining Out This Week
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gary_jordan
The choice of restaurants this week was the Texas Roadhouse, by which one might accurately conclude that I have a fondness, perhaps a weakness, for red meat. Until tonight, I was a Texas Roadhouse virgin. Based on tonight's visit, they are just another Texas-themed1 steak house. I'm not sure what their signature entree was. I had a New York Strip, cooked to my standards (perfectly medium).

One thing to note, they call their onion blossom a Cactus Blossom2. The rolls were okay, nothing special, but the spread was honey butter. I couldn't tell a difference between their dip and Lone Star's.

footnotes

  1. I always tend to think of the Jackalope as a more Wyoming or Montana theme, myself, but there it was on the wall.
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WEEK 5
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gary_jordan

I weigh about 247 pounds. My BMI is around 38.6 I lost 4.8 pounds this week. 86 pounds to go.

My average fasting glucose level was 93 mg/dL.

The average carbohydrates for the past week were 42.4 grams. Average calories were 2674 versus an average BMR of 2602 calories. According to Basal Metabolism Theory, I should have gained 0.1 pounds since last Friday.

It seems no week can pass without my forgetting to take my meds at least one day. Perhaps I should consider Kinko Balboa1.

Besides forgetting meds, this week I have rediscovered the BLT2. Not that it was undiscovered before—I remember them quite fondly, in fact. The current model is made from a flatbread wrap3, a package of pre-cooked bacon4, a few leaves of Romaine lettuce, and a tablespoon or so of Pico de Gallo5 as the source of tomatoey goodness.

And now it's time again for the BBC6 Market Report:

In the market today, Gary Jordan (GSJ) was trading slightly lower than last week, down £4.80, for a total decline of £44.60 from the high of £291.60. When asked to explain the losses to date, a spokesman for GSJ said, "Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses and disappointments; but let us have patience and we soon shall see them in their proper figures."


Footnotes

  1. Kinko Balboa is a sister of Rocky Balboa, and a registered nurse from the Ratched school of nursing. She is noted for having a firm hand and a short way with recalcitrant fat males. She is unrelated to Ginkgo Biloba, which is a tree. She would ensure that all medicines were taken. Or else.
  2. Bacon, Lettuce and Tomato
  3. http://www.flatoutbread.com/
  4. Oscar Meyer Fully Cooked Thick Bacon, though a store brand will do as well.
  5. Pico de gallo—In Mexican cuisine, pico de gallo, (literally rooster's beak), also called salsa fresca, is a fresh, uncooked salad made from chopped tomato, onion, cilantro, fresh serranos (but jalapeños or habaneros too), salt, and key lime juice.
  6. Bogus Broadcast Cyclical
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I would like to be charitable, but McDonalds Sucks
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gary_jordan
I told my daughter I was running to Walmart this evening, did she need anything? I got the usual response: "Could you pick me up a Diet Coke at McDonalds?" I swear, it's just the crushed ice.

So I went, and I bought two (2) boxes of a dozen Ozark Trail 9-LED mini flashlights to add to the two boxes I already bought. They're a buck each, they come with the batteries (three AAAs), and I have a 'thing" about mini flashlights. I now own fifty-two or so. Here's a pic, you can click on it to check it out at Walmart:


I also bought Atkins frozen dinners, Atkins snacks, and Atkins milkshakes. And a green t-shirt. And some Jalapeno Pepperonis (good as a snack, or for adding to Atkins vegetable pizzas.)

That should be sufficient sentence fragments for now. Anyway, on the way home I pulled into Jennifer's Favorite McDonalds, the one closest to home, and ordered a large Diet Coke. Because I feel self-conscious ordering only a soda, and because there were four grandchildren at home, I added two bags of chocolate chip cookies. The grand total was $3.29, for which I used my card. I pulled up to the second window, and was handed the Diet Coke and asked to pull forward to wait for the cookies.

Have you read the articles that discuss McDonalds under-performing for the last several quarters? People are annoyed by the extra time it takes to fill complicated orders that include fancier new menu items. Add me to the list of annoyed people.

I pulled forward. Eventually, I turned off my lights and put it in park. Later, I killed the engine. I had an epiphany. McDonalds has a separate window for paying for your order before the window where food is dispensed. This isn't for efficiency, it's to discourage you from cancelling whatever part of your order isn't ready and spending less money. Had I known the cookies had to be thawed and baked, I'd have said, "Never mind." Scathing comments got practiced. But when the young lady brought out the cookies, she said, "We put in an extra bag of cookies for your wait, to say we're sorry." I swallowed, nodded, started the car and left.

I already don't go to Micky D's for myself, because there is NOTHING on their menu (except bottled water) that meets my dietary needs. Now I shan't be buying there for my daughter's ice cravings, either.

WEEK 4
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gary_jordan

I weigh about 252 pounds. My BMI is around 38.7 I gained 5.2 pounds this week. 91 pounds to go.

My average fasting glucose level was 94 mg/dL.

I exercised for 75 minutes this past week, including riding 0 miles on my bicycle.

The average carbohydrates for the past week were 40.1 grams. Average calories were 2736 versus an average BMR of 2911 calories. According to Basal Metabolism Theory, I should have lost 0.4 pounds since last Friday.

In the market today, Gary Jordan (GSJ) was trading slightly higher than last week, up £5.20, for a total decline of £39.80 from the high of £291.60. When asked to explain the losses to date, a spokesman for GSJ said, "Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes. It is best to admit them quickly and get on with improving your other innovations."

In the category of "diet departure," or "off the reservation," or "binge eating," I hold up for scrutiny last Saturday night, including the wee hours of Sunday morning. Everything was fine until after I ate my dinner—almost a pound of iceberg lettuce with a couple of tablespoons of sandwich dressing (mostly oil and vinegar). I found it not to be satisfying, and began rumaging through my lockers and the refrigerator at work. What I found was a can of almonds1. Almonds are a healthy, Atkins-friendly snack. The problem arises when a dieter—me—eats the entire six ounce can2 comprising six servings.

In one leap, I boosted my carbs and calories by half again the intake so far that day. "But wait—" as the huckster on television says "—there's more!" It seems that if almonds are good, chocolate covered almonds3 must be fantastic. And they are, to the tune of four bags of Atkins Endulge type.

No panic; such deviations are factored into the modern lifestyle. So is adding two servings of pepperoni to a "diet" vegetarian pizza, which I will not footnote. It wasn't the same night, anyway. Any curious soul reading this can easily search for Atkins Stone Ground Pizza and find vegetarian among the four current choices. I have addressed those choices either on LiveJournal or FessBook, where I observed that all the variations could be greatly improved by adding meat.

I should have said, "No panic over a single incident." The other two instances of porking out on Tuesday and Wednesday brought home that self-control is key to any diet or lifestyle.

In the market today, Gary Jordan (GSJ) was trading slightly higher than last week, up £5.20, for a total decline of £39.80 from the high of £291.60. When asked to explain the losses to date, a spokesman for GSJ said, "Sometimes when you innovate, you make mistakes. It is best to admit them quickly and get on with improving your other innovations."


Footnotes

  1. nuts - one of my eight or nine favorite flavors, somewhere behind "Habanero BBQ Bold."
  2. two - Net Carbs per can, 30 grams minus 18 grams of fiber equals 12 grams, calories = 1,032.
  3. almonds - individual bags are great snacks, and I typically take only one bag to work. Thus is temptation meant to be avoided.
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